when i'm alone, i emo

Firstly, happy birthday to me...

another year has passed. 

after the A's, now is the start of the uni life....

on second wk of uni, came up with some conclusions...

you'll meet a lot of ppl in uni, but in the end you'll still be alone.

everyone will be taking diff mods, even if taking the same major as everyone has different objectives.

even if taking the same mod, there are different lecture and tut slots...

so like me, taking 5 mods, only 2 mods with my og mates. 

the rest of it, i'll be alone...

make new friends, ppl often say...

i feel, in the end will be making friends that u are not familiar with. we're just depending on each other for that particular mod and after 1 sem, it'll be annyeong hi ka sei yo (goodbye)

this feeling is weird and uncomfortable... 

it's like you have a company but feeling empty inside... 

there's no exactly someone u can confide to...

all my close friends are all separated... only me in sci fac and in particular, taking stats...

i'm really afraid that we'll become distant since i'm always the one who will say no to gatherings... i'm like the spoiler in plans. 

ppl will like say, oh ching, wanna come for so and so... when i say nope, hoping they'll understand, but as time goes by, i feel that i'm having lesser invitations. i'm really sorry for making ppl feel restless on asking me out, cuz most of the time the answer will be no. but i feel so left out....

it's like giving up on me.... :( 

dunno if i think too much but i often think this way...

 

*this post is gonna get emo...

me birthday today....

went to school for computing lesson. didnt get to meet any of my og mates cuz its a wed and we dun have common math mods... so = being alone. 

when i reached home, bro asked, eh few years you come back home with few bags of presents, how come today dun have.... 

i gave him a weak smile... 

i knew this would happen this year... 

no school = no friends... 

(i've not been sending presents too so it goes the same way...)

on brighter side, every year there's still bro with me, celebrating 17 years of birthday tgt... 

we're like dependant on each other... we won't forget each other birthday like forever... haha 

sincerely thank all those who wished me happy birthday!! even appreciate those who specially sms me (it's really more touching this way!), special thanks to yongsheng, for smsing me, really surprised that u will sms a freshie like me... 

all the smses made my day, jas ang who is the first to sms me, qi ai de for the sweet msg, qijin for the touching comments... 

kamsahamnida!!

new decisions, new beginnings...

received a msg from my dearest qin ai de of her decision...
it's a very good decision, without worries of financial support, with so many people supporting her (read from her blog)...


left a draft msg on my phone... 
actually wanted to post on twitter but on second thought it's too emo so i'll just post here:
' I shed a tear for u upon the news... 不舍的眼泪，为你开心，为离别难过...'
祝你幸福...
 

been getting fat this few months working here...

constantly hearing my mum complaining about my weight...
i seriously want to lose weight but then i'm not the kind that will lose weight easily...

i dun even know how i gain them, since my eating habits have not really changed...
(insert sad face)

My qin ai de was sms-ing me, expressing her love for me...
that's so sweet of her~ :)
haha... <3 <3

Congrats on her passing her btt... all the best for ftt and have fun at your practical lessons!! :)
I'll be going for practical test soon... haha next month...
i've basically finished on the learning part, just have to improve on skills aspect and minimize error...

huimin has passed her prac and nicole's coming behind me with her ftt being tmr...
i have to make my parents proud! haha (one time pass!) :P

Met up with nan, yujia, sylvia and quek on sat. took off from work to go the nus science open house...
had more insights on the different majors, contemplating on either applied math or stats major...
(even though the part about a lot of PRCs there is the dislike point)
the overseas exposure part sounds so fun and interesting...
after i went back home to sound out with my mum, she didnt sound to be of disapproval so that's a good start... maybe i have some hope... haha.

nan and yujia going for chem, one trying for fst and the other going for applied chem, but it's still chem...
saw hongaik at nus when the event ended. i guess he went for the chem talk too... haha.

kia's still thinking of which school to go... my guess is she'll go nus acc and new media double degree...
(her options: smu law and ntu biz and acc with college scholarship)
quek almost dozed off with the math talk... didnt have much chance to talk to him though... haha maybe he'll accept a biz degree, since thats' what he got offered from ntu and smu...
he still has 2 years so he can still think about it so...

heard ivan's going fass, from what yujia told me... quite shocking...

haha, met leqin and weixuan at fos.
weixuan came with his gf... didnt get to see her though... :p we had a brief talk, he applied medicine but didnt get in, so is looking at life sciences...
leqin surprisingly was there! haha. she's going overseas to take life science degree with scholarship but her sis didnt make it so she'll be staying in SG... a bit sad... sister rivalry and then there's a clear winner... haha. :p (i'm so mean to say that...)

haha, may everyone get to a course that they like! :)

wow, 1 month since i last posted...
already accepted NUS Science. Hope i'll meet nice course mates.

haha but then again, nan's leaving for HK uni... :(
very she bu de... hais...
have to tell myself all good things will come to an end. I'm really fortunate to meet her, know her and become friends with her... i will really cherish this friendship forever...

Next is my qin ai de...
she haven really decide, or she has decided le but nv tell me/i didnt ask her...
most likely going warwick... it's good for her to go overseas to gain exposure...
hais... the sad truth... long time since i last met my qin ai de...

Dare to pursue your dreams...
for me, i'm still wondering around... what will i do in the future...
i have no idea yet... i just know this life journey will go on no matter what...